Joining the adoptive families support group (Q and A)

Is it essential that I join an adoptive families support group? I am afraid that my child’s adoption status might be revealed.

Joining an any adoptive families support group is optional but considering the issues that an adoptive family has to deal with, and assuming that you have not discussed the issue of adoption openly with the child, you might need some kind of support to deal with as and when you begin to deal with the fact of adoption with your child.

Remember, any support group members will have something in common and in adoptive families that commonality is adoption. They have similar issues and challenges that they deal with and by joining, you might do more favor to yourself than harm.

For example, if you choose not to join the support group and did start to open up with your child about adoption and one day your child said something that is so hurtful (something like “you’re not my mother”) how do you deal with it? When you have peers to depend on, they might just tell you that it is a manipulative behaviour of adoptive children to get their way and you must enable your child to understand in clear words why you’re her mother. It is not essential that you must join an organized group of adoptive families but it can be just an informal friendship with another adoptive family that is willing to open their heart to you.  If you're still  not convinced, consider joining a virtual adoptive support groups online.  Indian families can join Sudatta at this link and others (outside India) can find one at this link.

Last but not the least, please do not be afraid of talking to your child about adoption. This is an other area that a support group might help you how to open up the topic of adoption with your child for the first time. Younger you start doing it, easier it is going to get. In Franklin D. Roosevelt’s words “You have nothing to fear but fear itselt".  

Got questions on adoption?  Write to me at 

indiahopehouse@gmail.com.  

This above information is made available to you by the HOPE House - a registered charitable trust that cares for orpahn, semi-orphan and disadvantaged girls in Vellore, India.  Would you like to financially support us?  Click here to learn more.