How to do adoption counseling? (Q and A)

If you’re actively promoting the message of adoption, be aware that there are some challenges that one must be aware during adoption counseling. These can range anywhere from couple fighting in front of you to unbelievable misconceptions about adoption. Unless and until you’re prepared for it, you’d end up dealing with difficult circumstances.

Always do it on appointment only. Request the families to make an appointment with your office before coming for counseling. Whenever they call for an appointment, obtain information such as language they speak, family’s religion, and who is attending the counseling etc. These questions will give you a general idea of what to say/ what not to say.

Always have an environment that is calm and well lit. Expect the counseling seekers to be somewhere between late 20’s to 40 years of age, infertile and are in a hurry to have a child. Begin the counseling on a lighter note with some jokes or the news items of the day. When you begin, make your disclosures be known first such as who you’re/ you’re not. For example, you can tell them if you’re not an adoption agency that they should not expect you to show babies.

Have a format ready to help you make your thought flow to go from one area to the other easily. As you speak, observe their body language to make notes to yourself so that you can come back to address those issues if they need to be addressed.

Make an unbiased and honest presentation.

Never ever make recommendation of adoption agencies unless and until you have personally worked with a particular agency because if the family encounters problems with an agency of your recommendation, you’ll be blamed first.

Never promise anything that is not in your hands.

Never end the counseling without giving an opportunity to ask questions.

Give out a handout listing all the adoption agencies of your state so that the families can contact them.

Ask if the family like to be followed up by you and if they prefer, make it a point to follow it up.

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Ruby