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Tuesday, November 06, 2007

How we said "YES" to our children....

When we began thinking about adoption we had all kinds of thoughts not necessarily correct. One such thought was about choosing a child. My wife and I thought that we will be shown four or five kids and we get to choose the one of our choice. At that time it didn’t appear anything wrong with such thinking till we attended our agency mandated pre-adoption counseling. There they told us the exact way of referring a child – just one child’s information is given at a time to the prospective adoptive parents (PAP) and if they (PAP) don’t like it, they ought to return the information before they can expect another referral.

It wasn’t a disappointment at all but enlightenment. We understood the rationale behind such a practice and felt good about it.

As our referral stage approached closer, a dear friend of mine since 1987 came down to see us from California. During a casual chat, we talked about the referral process and he said something completely inconsistent with our awareness and thinking. He said, “Accept the first referral”. He went on to reason and said “adopting a child is not like buying the best vegetables, you don’t even have such choice in a biological birth”. Enormity of what he had said didn’t sunken in till he had left us.

My wife and I began talking about it and then it dawned on us the weight of what my friend had told us. We thought it was a crazy suggestion. We ignored it but only to realize that the thought became stronger and stronger to suggest listening to what my friend was saying. We were scared and confused. We prayed to God to give us guidance and wisdom to make the right decision.

We both of us felt that if God is giving this child, he will also give us the strength and resources to care for the child. When we reached that conclusion, all of a sudden we began experiencing the peace and calmness in our hearts. So we made a decision that day to accept the first referral irrespective of what the child may have.

When we did receive our first referral, child’s health history sheet had major health issues. We were terrified. Both of us being health care professionals, we understood the gravity of those diagnoses. We were very tempted to say no but at the same time we were constantly reminded about the decision we made. At the end, we stood firm and said ‘YES’ to that referral.

Oh we can’t begin to tell what a wonderful decision we had made six years ago. We adopted a baby girl who is six years old now and has no health issues but full of life. She loves to draw, dance, fancy dress (like Hindi dancers), and give plenty of kisses. We feel lucky to have passed the test of our faith.

With precedence being set for our lives, it was very easy to do the same when we adopted my second daughter. They both are like our two eyes to each of us.

1 comment:

Lynn said...

We had almost identical experience. When we decided to adopt, we too were expecting to see a few children. But along the way we decided that we will accept the first referral that we will get. (We came to this decision because of our life experience - my second son was micro cephalic, he didnt live too long. We were emotionally prepared to take care of him, as long as he lived.) We knew that any child God gave us will be a blessing. She came with health condition, that is well managed.
Again in case of our second daughter, she too have a major health condition. But we cant wait to have her home.. because,
SHE IS OUR DAUGHTER!!