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Monday, November 19, 2007

5 Don'ts of adoption

In the past week I had posted about 5 do’s of adoption. This week I’ll post about 5 don’ts of adoption. If I post all five of them in a single article it would be too large to read it so I will split them up in to five parts posting one each day. This is not an exhaustive list of don’ts and if you have some to share, please feel free to do so in the comments section. Here is the first one:

Part # 1

Do not adopt to do charity: Majority of families choose to adopt for right reasons but somewhere down in our hearts there is an element of pity for the plight of the orphan child that needs a home. As humans it is not abnormal nor wrong to have such feelings but when we allow such feelings to influence our decision making process, it does.

If charity was the predominant factor for your adoption, then you’re always going to look at your child as though someone who received a favor from you. Expectations of your child’s behavior would be based on conditions. We know that sometime or the other our kids will test our patience and when they do, there’s a danger of comparing the inequities (your favor vs the child’s response). For example: even if you don’t say it, you might think in your heart like “I spent so much money to bring him/ her out of the orphanage and look how he/ she is behaving”?

So how do we prevent this? I may be wrong but in my personal opinion, as long as we recognize the fact that we want to adopt to fulfill our own (such as to be a parent) desires to begin with and remind ourselves on constant basis, this can be prevented.

What do you think? Do you have anything to add to this? Leave your thoughts in the comments section.

RN

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