Today I got a call from someone in India who has been waiting to adopt a child for the past 21 months and when she explained to me about her referral process, I was bit puzzled. It is completely different from what my family had experienced. Before I go on to write about what she said, let me explain to you what referral process is: It is a stage in your adoption when your family is matched up with a child of your preferences.
This is how my family’s referral process went: Of course at the time of our family’s referral, we were living in the United States and it might well be the reason for the differences I am noticing. We were shown one child’s information (photos, video clips, any medical information if it was available) at a time and were instructed to return the information if we are not about to choose the referred child. Process continues till the family chooses the child.
But I am told that three children (of family’s preference) were shown and were asked to choose. Is it the methodology used all over India? I am just curious. I felt it is a difficult position to be in to choose a child like that. I thought the process that my adoption agency in the US followed was a fair one and what hurdles do you see for Indian agencies to follow such a practice? One reason I can see is the limited resources.
Is it the process you followed or expect to follow in India? How did you manage/ expect to manage? Do you feel guilty of rejecting one child over choosing your child? How did you handle/ expect to handle such emotions? Please share.
Ruby
1 comment:
I don't think any of the CARA recognized agencies in India actually allow you to choose. You are shown only one baby at a time and generally they don't encourage rejection by PAP unless on accounts of medical health grounds.
In our case, this was the first expectation that was set to us during our first meeting with ACA social worker. Also we ended up adopting the first and only child that we saw. I think its not fair to allow choosing from multiple kids.
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