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Friday, June 27, 2008

Is it wrong for a child to say, “I love you” to another child?

Recently our older one came home and asked us if it is wrong to say, “I love you” to another child who is her good friend? We didn’t know the circumstances surrounding it and when enquired about it, we were surprised at what we heard.

The word “Love” is used in many forms in our house. We say to our kids often that we love them; grand parents tell them that they love them, and mom and dad love each other. So our kids are growing up knowing the meaning of “love’ in a much broader context (friendship and relationship etc).

Recently when my older one told her best friend at school “I love you”, her friend told her not to say that because it is not a good thing to say according to her mom. Lydia was confused, so came home and promptly asked us about it. We helped her to understand what her friend meant and also educated her about whom to say and when.

My point here is this: What are we teaching our kids about love? If we teach our kids the statement “I love you” in it self is wrong, then how can we as parents say to our kids “I love you”? If we do use such statements, and then to turn around and tell them that precise statement is wrong, isn’t it contradictory? Our kids only learn from what we (adults) say and do at home and they better be consistent.

We as parents need to take a balanced and informed approach in teaching life skills to our kids. How is it in your house?

Ruby

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