Do you know this?

There are approximately 18000 parents registered with CARA, while the number of children in the Government's adoption pool is less 1800.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Adoption Q and A # 16

1. Do I need to keep repeating about adoption so that she does not feel anything...
2. Do every one in a family (my husband, my parents need to tell her apart from me)
3. How to answer some of her curiosities like ' have u bought me'.. ' why I have not come from ur stomach '' etc..

1. Yes, it is good to talk to her continuously but not over doing. There's a thin line between the two. The reason is that the children are growing and their thinking power and the ability to comprehend also is changing. You may have told her like a story or like how you would talk to a child. As they grow you make your talk more appropriate to their age.

2. It is not necessary that everyone talk about the adoption to the child but everyone should be aware of the openness that you encourage on this topic with your child. If in case your daughter does ask them a question, they should not find it surprising. You (and your spouse) can talk to them all in private to enable them to know how and what to expect when she does open it with them.

3. To these hard questions that our children ask, you can simply be as truthful as you can. For example, if she asks you, did you buy me? You can tell her NO, but we had to pay the adoption agency for taking care of you for all the days (describe the expenses such as food, diapers, shampoo, soaps and powders etc) before you came home. To the question why didn't I come from your tummy, I am not sure your situation but if I were you (with infertility), I would help my child understand the concept of God (if you're a person of faith) making each one of us differently. I would answer like this "God wants all of us to be happy. Probably he didn't make a baby in my tummy because he want me to have you in my heart as my daughter."

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